Tuesday, March 15, 2011

My Child's Is Unmaneageable..I Had To Put A RELAXER In It

Hola Chicas/Chicos..I pray all is great...Ok, so our childrens' hair..how many of you have heard this expression, 'I had to put a relaxer in my child's hair, it was too unmanageable.' or 'It's just a kiddie perm,what's the harm in that?' Well, the harm is that the same harsh and harmful chemicals that are in 'adult' relaxers exist in 'kiddie' perms. But anywho, let's address the reason behind the kiddie creamy crack addiction.

Many of us grew up in traditional homes where yankin and pullin on heads of thick hair was the norm. Most of our parents, grandparents, aunts, sisters or cousins had never even heard of combing the hair while it's wet and slippery with conditioner. Combing the hair from the ends, then working up to the roots all while holding the hair as to minimize shedding and breakage. Many times, all of THAT was unheard of. And let's not get into the rages of war between mother and child as hair combing battles and 'hair do-ing' sessions were going down. Well, with all of that, who wouldn't succumb to an easier, yet extremely damaging, method of doing their child's hair? Ahhh, nostalgia...

Well, for all of you lovely ladies, and gents, who are going through the dreaded battle of the 'hair do-ing war', be assured that no matter the texture, thickness or length of your child's beautiful natural hair, there is a wonderful manageable way to wash, detangle and style your young natural's hair. A way that will promote healthy hair growth and peace on earth between parent and child..at least in the hair department, that is. And besides, isn't it worth it to set aside some time to maintain your child's hair properly instead of taking a, what seems to be, an easier road and doing what may be harmful to your child's hair and health? Check out this story of a white father who's adopted black daughter's hair he combs and styles weekly..now if he, a professor at Emory, can take the time and learn to maintain his daughter's hair, because he wanted her to have an appreciation for HER hair and not alter it into something different, and he said that he wanted people to accept her no matter what her hair looked like, can't we all?? This father applies his 'weekly' touch to ensure that his daughter's hair is maintained, healthy, beautiful and NATURAL. He researches the best products to use on her hair to keep it from drying and breaking. He and his wife wanted their daughter to know that her hair is something wonderful and to be celebrated..and not a burden (unmanageable). Instead of viewing his daughter's hair as a hassle, he instead thinks of it in a positive sense as a 'father/daughter' bonding time. Check these images out of the proud dad, doing his thing!!! (For the full story, click on the link below)

Ok...So here is a wonderful way to make your hair'doing session a success.
The Method..

Choose a natural shampoo and conditioner free of parabens, sulfates, fragrance (except natural fragrances) or any other harsh chemicals: Terressentials Earth Wash, Bentonite Clay, Chagrin Valley shampoo bars or Shea Moisture are some great shampoos that are natural and chemical free.I mostly conditioner wash his hair (weekly) and shampoo wash once per month.

Be sure to really focus on the scalp when washing. If necessary and your child has scalp issues (which usually stem from previous harsh hair products and sometimes diet), add essential oils, such as: Neem, Tea Tree, Eucalyptus or Peppermint Oils. This experience should be pleasant and not a challenge.

Be sure to rinse out all of the shampoo or conditioner, paying attention to the nape and edges.

Since I used shampoo to wash his hair, I always do a deep conditioner treatment to restore moisture..I apply the deep conditioner, Natty Moist and, optionally, add oils like, Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Grapeseed Oil and/or Tea Tree Oil, then place a plastic cap and proceed to add heat, you can also opt for no heat.

Applying a deep conditioner anywhere from 10- 30 minutes. It leaves his hair soft and moisturized. Always give your child something to keep them entertained, like a book, puzzle, game, or a short movie.

Always, Always, Always detangle when the hair is wet and slippery with conditioner, using a wide tooth comb, never a brush. Here, I am using the 'Tangle Teezer' which cuts the detangling session is HALF. And my son told me that it didn't hurt at all. It actually allows you to get close to the scalp and feels like a scalp massage. Always start at the ends, while holding the hair, and work your way up to the roots. Once you have detangled one section, twist or braid that section so that it does not become tangled again.

Rinse the conditioner out and I do a final cool water rinse using ACV (Apple Cider Vinegar). Then apply a good conditioner that has a lot of slip. I used Avalon Olive Oil Conditioner. After you rinse, leave a little of the conditioner or add some of the conditioner to the hair (to moisturize), seal the moisture in with a good carrier oil (castor, jojoba, grapeseed, olive oils).

Style the hair..I usually put his hair into two strand twists that lasts for a few days, then undo the twists and allow him to wear the twists out..as in a twist out..Be sure to moisturize daily and wash or co wash at least weekly.

Your child and you should be on 'speaking terms' when this is finished and not as if you just ended a battle..lol.. So, this is a method for easy, hassle free, healthy natural hair...Don't they deserve it? (my battery died on my camera, please ignore those dates, lol)

Hope this helps...have a blessed day.

Happy Healthy Hair


  1. I wish my mother had read this article about 19 years ago. She gave me a relaxer at one y/o because "she was tired of dealing w/ it" I've been struggling w/ my hair ever since. :(

  2. This blog has helped me so much! I'm a white hairdresser with three, sweet little African American darlings for clients! They too were adopted by white parents and it has been a blessing and a privilege to study this topic. So, thank you for the info and the stories. It has most definitely enabled me to do my job better, and to love what I do even more!

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